3 March 2013 11:16 PM
Trevor Gross

Some of you twice seasoned IAM veterans may remember this baby. Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe is the book Gotham deserves, action packed with everything from building houses out of mud to undoing the belts of those pretty African ladies, our hero Okonkwo of the Umuofia clan leads us on an adventure packed with plenty of yam-eating action. 

This guy, what a beast. His father is a misfit who Okonkwo despises and is determined to become nothing like. He gets a ton of yam seeds from this awesome dude and he has a successful farm with tons of wives to make his yam-mush dinners. However, his son Nwoye is not manly enough to please the strict Okonkwo. 

Somehow Okonkwo gets a boy Ikemefuna under his command who is much more manly than Nwoye, and encourages Nwoye to get ship-shape. Here's the catch; Ikemefuna has to get killed. Okonkwo is advised not to take part but, like any strong warrior, he kills the kid then locks himself in his mud hut and won't come out or eat his yam mush. 

Okonkwo's gun explodes somehow and kills somebody, which is considered a crime, forcing Okonkwo to pack up his wife and kids and do the ole' village swap. He moves, and is greeted by the famous missionary Rick Ross. They greet each other like old friends and have some more yams to catch up on missed times. They decide that they both wanna be rappaz, so they make plans to move to Albania.  Before they can make their move, however, they are thwarted by Dequan the yam farmer. Their plane tickets and all their yam-cash (for anyone interested, the symbol of yam-cash, the main currency throughout the book, is ¥) is stolen. 

Luck is on their side. In two intense pages of the book, the seven years are up and Okonkwo moves back to his village, bringing Rick Ross so they can scrape their ¥ together and be on their magnificent way. Some guys from the government ride up and Okonkwo goes ham on their a** with a machete. Despite their fighting skills, the government people keep riding up like he droids in the second Star Wars movie, so Okonkwo is forced to retreat. He decides that a man can't suffer what he has to suffer, leaving his friends to play the game of who-can-bury-Okonkwo-without-touching-him. 

I'll have you know that this is one of those novels that once you pick up you just can't set down, no matter how hard you are being force choked. You'll feel the beat of the ekwe calling you to become an African clansman and follow in the footsteps of mighty Okonkwo. 

"Finger-lickin good" -The Bwoss Daily

"Five out of Five: I was being held at machete-point so what else could I say?" -The  DailyClansman

"I read this book and am currently living in Africa. I have spent years living with the people that knew Okonkwo personally, what a wonderful experience! Excellent" -The Nigeria Free Press

Overall, a 5/5 work of art. Critics are still raving to date, this book beats any of Aerosmith or Taco Bell's books, hands-down.

Pick yourself up a copy today, it will stick in your hands like glue!

Did this review entice you into some yams? Well here at IAMN, we've got your back. Check out http://www.meijer.com/s/bruces-yams-1-can-40-oz/_/R-118557 to get into the yam eating action.


03/05/2013 7:07am

tenouttaten would hatchet

Rick Ross
03/05/2013 11:08am

Glad about mentioning me. As you may know, I'm now loaded with yam-cash, like a bwoss


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    March 2013